Friday, August 21, 2009

A vegetarian, a sea food buffet and a sandwich

Last Friday saw the finishing up of a week-long trip on the road. Dinner was with the GM of our division and with my manager. The venue was a seafood buffet place not too far from the hotel. The assumption, as we set out, was that I would, by virtue of earlier visits, be familiar with this place. The only problem? I'm vegetarian and I'd walk past a seafood buffet place like it was, umm, a seafood buffet. Paying no attention whatsoever. We started walking in the general direction of the place and in a few minutes it was unanimously agreed that we were completely lost. The combined intellect of a trio of professionals sometimes comes up short in the simplest of occasions. We stood by the entrance to a subway station, pointing in different directions, covering an 180 degree arc when, out of nowhere, appeared a lady enquiring if we were lost. To clarify, I don't think it needed any confirmation. But I think she was just being polite. After sheepish admissions, she offered to walk us to the place and even helped us get on the waiting list.

A vegetarian at a seafood buffet place is like a fish out of water. (Bear with the pun.) Food was everywhere but not a morsel for me. After much investigation, I ended up having a couple of varieties of salad and a bowl of cream of broccoli soup with a questionable broth. I also nearly ended up having snails. Trust me, they look exactly like button mushrooms. And by my book, they had no business to be in a seafood restaurant. Anyways, $20 and as many calories later, I was stepping out of the place with a smile.

Why? Cut to earlier in the afternoon.

The party of 3 had split in the afternoon to hold two different meetings. My manager and I had Korean bibim bap at a local joint after our meeting on the way back to the office. The GM, bless his soul, unaware of our lunch plans, got us an expensive sandwich each. He handed me one assuring that it was vegetarian. It was like a premium-free insurance policy and I put it aside for dinner in case things didn't work out well for me. Which, if you haven't skipped the earlier part, was exactly what happened.

Cut to my room, post dinner.

I entered the room and went straight to the sandwich, sitting in the fridge. I let it thaw out while I changed and freshened up. With a flourish that accompanies the comforting thought that my hunger was about to be satiated, I sunk my teeth into it. If you've been a vegetarian all your life, chances are good that you haven't tasted meat. I bit a second crescent out and was chewing away, eyes closed, enjoying the mozzarella chunks. They were particularly tasty and warranted a look - a look of gratitude and admiration at nature's benevolence. I parted the buns and there it was. Seated above the juicy mozzarella was a pinkish slice of what I assumed was ham. Either the sandwiches were switched while being handed out or ham is considered vegetarian in Korea.

I've seen in movies where vegetarian characters, particularly girls, throw up everything upon realizing that they have consumed a piece of meat. I've always dismissed that as cinematic exaggeration. Wrong. One moment I was chewing and the next, regurgutating it, the finer details of which I've avoided here. What followed was a session of substance abuse. The substance in question being listerine. And abuse being rinsing all corners of the mouth. Twelve times.

You know what is worse than having salad at a seafood buffet for dinner after a long day? Throwing it all up and trying to sleep on an empty stomach.

4 comments:

  1. I guess the 'exxageration' is an intentional exaggeration. Your title was elaborate and clued in to retain any suspense in the final paragraphs.

    Though I'm still a vegetarian, I've come to accept that it's only cultural conditioning. If I were in Korea and living on bread in hard, I wouldn't mind trying something.

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  2. Oops! Thanks for catching the typo.

    You know? I've asked myself often what I would do under extreme conditions. The answer is: I don't know. It must be a very tough situation for me to compromise and I hate to be in such a situation. *Shudder*

    On the other hand, I have a vegetarian colleague who had chicken (for the first time, supposedly) on a 5-hour Sgp-Taiwan flight because they didn't have veggie food on board.

    To me it is a black and white case while others see shades of grey. Oh well...

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  3. My commiserations. But tell me - won't you find plain bread and butter/jam in Korea, Japan...?
    Once we was served salad, but embellished with pink stuff. That was just another opportunity to dream of home.
    If ever you do find yourself having to decide "to NV or not to NV" - decide that you're allergic to the stuff! (I discovered an allergy to eggy stuff... )

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  4. Swarna, That night was an exception. I can usually find something at the convenience stores if it is not too late.

    I've been in far worse situations and I haven't wavered in the past 6+ years of Asianizing. And I don't intend to cross the LoV anytime soon. It has to be a Very Serious circ. for me to consider and I hope I don't land in one.

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